mr. manners

Pot Roast with the Most. Finn and Stephen Schudlich, March 1, 2015

Finn and I attended a movie the other day in which the line, "Manners maketh man" was uttered  by a genteel, impeccably dressed British gentleman just prior to him delivering a thrashing to a pub full of thuggish blokes without so much as even slightly loosening his double Windsor.

In the 14^th century, William of Wykeham, Bishop of Winchester, founded two great educational institutions that is New College Oxford and the Great Public School at Winchester. He gave to both the same motto; “Manners maketh Man”. In those days the word “manners” did not mean mere outward behavior, as it does now, but what we should call good conduct or morality.

I was raised to have manners. Good manners. Manners that today in some circles may seem archaic and old fashioned.  Even so, I make every attempt to educate my son to observe the same social etiquette that his father was taught by his father. We say please and we say thank you. We ask people "How are you?" and we wait for the answer. We hold doors (this in particular seems to be a dying art, and when we are out and someone makes no attempt to hold a door even slightly, EVEN if we are directly behind them, I usually tell Finn "This person doesn't appear to have any manners," and it's usually loud enough for them to hear me.)

Finn has a wonderful way of swooping in and retrieving items dropped or forgotten by people, both young and old alike. "Here you are," he says with a smile on his face and in his voice, "I think you dropped this." There are times that people are just speechless for a second or two. I've seen it.

One of the things that Finn and I like to do is send cards to people. Hand done cards. Lately we have been "collaborating" on these. It's nice to send them off once in awhile for no reason at all, other than to just say "Hi, we're thinking about you," but birthdays, thank yous, etc. are good too. I refuse to believe that there is anyone who doesn't like to receive a piece of "human touch" mail with all of those 1-800-Hansons and Papa John's coupons.

Of course I would be remiss if I didn't touch on the topic of punctuality. Be on time. If you say you are going to be somewhere or do something at a certain time, be there or do that thing when you say you are going to. Being notoriously, carelessly, repeatedly late and devaluing, or non-valuing another's time is one of the great acts of disrespect. I never cease to be amazed at students, in particular, who waltz into class 15-30 minutes late, without so much as a "sorry, man."

 I have to go now. Midterms are due in today, and I have a bit of last minute look-over to do. One of the requirements in the syllabus is attendance. ON TIME ATTENDANCE. Tardies add up to absences, absences translate into grade reduction and this is with full administrative and institutional support and blessing.

"Hey, Mr. Steve, how come I got a C?"

"Sorry, man."